Thursday, September 23, 2010

Life is No Nintendo Game

Do you ever wake up one day and think...this is my life: what have I done to make a difference? Have I left my mark on the world? Will I be remembered for doing something great, being that person that went the extra mile, impacted people's lives, changed things that could be changed?? Will I learn all I want to learn, go to places not yet traveled, meet those people, do the undone???

I have story in my head. I have had it for years. It is ever changing, with lots of additions and deletions. It is the story of my funeral and how it will play out. Most of the changes, I have to admit are wardrobe related. What will I wear in the casket? Are they bloody well going to put fabulous shoes on my feet to bury me in? Who the heck is going to do my hair & makeup? Are they going to accessorize me properly? Will they remember the glitter? This is the final act in the show...there must be NO mistakes!

I digress. With this story I have of my funeral, it leads me to these thoughts, these actions, this relentless quest.

I wake up every day with a list. Some of it on paper, some in my head. I lay my head on the pillow at night..again, it is swimming with possibility. With dreams & goals, big & small. Throughout my day, my ideas get written on bright orange Post-Its. What if I forget these fabulous ideas?? What if they aren't followed through? Why aren't there just a few more hours in the day? Why can't I just have that extra time to squeak in just one more thing...scratch one more item off my list?

Ever since I was really young, I have been a bit of a freak. I did things normal kids really didn't do. I had a slight baking obsession, starting at about 9 or so (I kept documentation via Diaries). I think I baked or cooked something every single day. Was I bored or subconsciously was I creating my own version of The Food Network? Changing the world, one muffin at a time. Wooing them with fresh baked muffin smells.

Now as an adult, this continues...I would still do it every day if I could. The creating, the aromas, the sheer happiness that comes over me when my sharp knife cuts through a crisp pepper. That is irreplaceable.

But I have grown and changed over the last few years. My passions have budded and flowered into something wonderful. I started running, become more fit than I ever have been, changed my eating, started a new job, created a Facebook group dedicated to inspiring not only myself, but others to get on the right track. It is exciting. I could list a dozen things right now I want to do right now since these changes. This has made my Bucket (list) heavier. There is so much more to accomplish, to create, to change, to better.

I now plan my life out by Beachbody programs and races. That my friend, is a sure sign. I have become not only passionate, but EXTREMELY driven to succeed. I want it all. I can't quite explain how I went from this person I was to who I am now. But I like it. And I don't apologize for it.

I have decided that you only get one shot. You cannot go back and redo things. You have to seize the moment. Be all you can be, do everything in your power to get to your goals. Surround yourself with positive people. You attract what you project. You reap what you sow. That is my theory. And that is how I am living my life.

So when I say I am going to run that marathon, make those 52 Cheesecakes(one of my ideas), play on stage with Bon Jovi, open that dessert store, have my own TFN show, build that wine cellar, rebuild the Pet Cemetery (Laura will get this), rebuild that 68 Cougar, meet you in person, train like a Navy Seal, organize an I See Fit People Event & make those t-shirts, meet John Travolta, design SOMETHING(**whew**..and there is SO much more) can be assured I mean it. Wait..I feel a sudden urge to sing Jefferson Starship.

So before those mini vials of glitter come uncorked and scattered at my funeral, there is work to do. There is no second chance.

"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read and all the friends I want to see". ~~~John Burroughs