Happy Birthday, Dad

Dear Dad,

Some may look at this as crazy...talking to you now that you are no longer with us.  But maybe it's my way of keeping just a little piece of you alive here on earth.

I have been having a hard time this week especially, without you here.  I have so many wonderful things that I want to share with you.  I know you would be the first to say that I could do it, like you always have in the past.  I miss that. 

Tomorrow is your birthday and I cannot help but think of all the torture we girls (and sometimes just me) gave you over all the years.  The constant fighting us 4 girls did while growing up, the worry I caused you over things like when I ran away from home when I was 5 or 6, the very loud family gatherings that required foam ear plugs, and when I did things that you specifically told me not to do.  That required patience...I know I wasn't the best daughter at times. 

But mostly the happy memories make up my thoughts of you. 

The breakfasts you made us every morning live on in my mind.  I still hate poached eggs, but my love for oatmeal lives on thanks to you! 

The way we all picked apples in the fall and cut and stacked the wood.  We let on that we hated it, but man, I LOVED that and wished I was there with you now to get the wood splitter fired up and the chain saw fumes rolling! 

The days I spent with you in the garage as you ripped apart and put vehicles and engines and just about everything else lovingly back together.  You were so persistent and could fix darn near everything.  In fact I don't remember a time you didn't make things right.  The smell of gas and oil puts me right back in that garage with you every single time.  Back to the old stool in the corner where the CB radio was and I was persistently trying to carry on a conversation with some complete stranger with a fascinating southern drawl. 

The day I arrived at your house to show you my first tattoo of the water lily on my shoulder and you cried when I told you why I got it.  I cherish that moment and I knew you would get why I did it.  It is just as much a part of you as it was Gram. 

When you had your 60th birthday and all your daughters honored you by dressing as grease monkeys is one of those times.  I remember how we stood at the front of the hall, you with your guitar, us with our beanie caps and coveralls and we started to sing Amazing Grace together.  We didn't get to sing the entire thing because we all were just overwrought with emotion.  That was a good day in my books! 

I personally loved taking advantage of the fact you hated coconut and cheese.  Every chance I could get to tell you there was either ingredient in something you had just eaten made me snicker!!  You were such a good sport.  Oh by the way, those mini pecan tarts that you hoooverd half the container of 3 Christmases ago were made with Cream Cheese pastry.  Just thought you should know.  :-)))

I remember singing with you in church when I was just little, the song titles escapes me now.  But I was so proud that you wanted me to sing with you up there on stage. 

All the family sing songs we had over the years truly stamped my heart with some of the best memories one could ever ask for in a lifetime. 

When you and Uncle Gordie & Uncle Collie would play and sing together it was like I thought my heart would explode!  There was NOTHING better than that to get me fired up!  Some good ole East Coast picking of the Wildwood Flower on the guitar and a whole lot of yodeling was the key!  My favorite part, of all times was when you sang to mom the song you wrote for her.  I always knew your love for her was greater than any mountain or sea.  This song made me giddy with glee and put a smile on my face.  If I close my eyes I can hear your voice singing it right now.

I remember on almost every occasion that we were gathered as a family, you took it upon yourself to dress and record the events as the notorious newscaster, "Daaaaannnn MaccccIntosh".  You had skillz, Wayne-Z.  You were so hilarious and totally got into your role!   

I remember so well the Christmas Wanda came to visit us here in Alberta.  We picked her up at the airport, and was headed out the door and some strange man with a hood over his face asks me where I can find a taxi.  I can imagine the look on my face when I recognized that voice and saw my dad standing there in the airport!  It was SO amazing because it was the first time you had ever been on an airplane and I was SO happy you come to visit me!  Your hug that day was the best!

I remember when Facebook made it's debut how interested you were to learn about it.  How many conversations we had that started with, "Oh I saw it on Facebook" or so and so said it on Facebook.  Your best line was, "Well if it was on Facebook, it MUST be true then".  I loved how you learned to master it! 

I have a treasure trove of memories locked away which one day I hope to write more about.

I am your daughter through and through.  I get my drive and determination from you.  I get your desire to wander and see things and discover!  I am so proud to have those traits!!

You were the best father anyone could ask for.  You taught compassion, and honesty and perserverence and gentleness.  For all the times I saw you cry happy tears, well, I don't think I could count them all in a life time, because there were so many.  You always wore your heart on your sleeve. 

So I know you are not here on earth for this years birthday, but we will still celebrate you and the imapct you had on everyone's lives!  I will miss telling you that I made your favorite cake, Coconut with cream cheese frosting and I will miss your fake excitment about how you couldn't wait to dig in!

Most of all I will miss the sound of your voice & your comment you gave me every year when I wished you a Happy Birthday.  You always replied the same, every year, "Oh just another year older but at least I am on the right side of the sod".  I have a huge lump in my throat as I type this knowing you cannot say this to me tomorrow.  But I know you are where you always wanted to be and that is at God's side.

I sure do hope his kitchen staff knows how to make a mean Coconut Cream Cheese cake.  :-)

I love you forever and a day.

Happy Birthday Dad! 

Love your daughter,
Wen

My dad doing what he did best, fixing things!

Mom & Dad

Dad and I

My dad singing at their home.

My dad and I.  I miss you terribly. xoxxoxo