This is it...I am down to the crunch. One last week before I run a race in another country dressed like an Indian Princess.
The last 3 and 1/2 months have been a journey. I trained, following the schedule I laid out pretty much to a T! I am very proud of myself. I look back to last year's 1/2 training for the Big Run in Calgary, and this time around is MUCH different. I am in better shape, both physically and mentally. My endurance level is improved, my eating has been really good. I just felt all in all, fabulous! NO ITB injuries this time...thank heavens! I am happy with how it has all come together.
Then along comes today. My last long run of the training before the race. I am never one to back down from a challenge, so when I was faced with running indoors, on a crap treadmill, I sucked it up and donned my runners. It was time to get this show on the road (or treadmill in this case).
The run started out ok...I run the first 3 miles (yes miles, not km) and I feel good. Then I stop to grab Sport Beans out of my bag, and continue on. The treadmill resets itself. NO biggie...lets restart this fu..sucker.
I get into about the 6th mile, and in comes this lovely lady Penny and I think her son. He hops onto the treadmill and with his freakin' Gazelle-y legs, takes off like a scalded cat, and me with my short stubs, plugs on, feeling slightly deflated. I am running and running and would probably never catch up to him. He is barely exerting any energy, and I am starting to feel the hatin' coming on for this POS treadmill. It was as tho Marky Mark had written his song, "Good Vibrations" in tribute to this fu...sucker.
I keep on. Gazelle-y legs is just a young guy...I ask him, "Are you training for a race"? Nope...just running. For the fun of it. **Insert me sighing heavily** Kids these days.
My stubbies are getting pained...my calf muscles are freakin' hurtin' like a bad country song and I am still only at about 10 miles. YAY...only 3.1 more miles to go.
GL is still going strong. I have had to take several walk breaks, my left side has a nasty stitch which won't go away and I wonder to myself, do they do leg transplants at the Bow Island Hospital?
Penny & GL pack up and head home. They wish me lots of luck and I give his legs one last ogle as he walks out the door. **Insert second heavy sigh**
I stare ahead into to this little room in the gym which has a red punching bag hanging from it's ceiling. I have this thing about boxing. I think I would be great at it and really want to try it...BAD! So, I stare hard at the bag. I am strong. I am powerful. I have powerful arms and shoulders and I want that to transcend to my lower half. I keep chanting to myself, "You are strong, you are strong". I run, feeling NOT strong at all today, but damn it all, I am almost there!
I hit my Ipod to play my Power Song, "Awake and Alive" by Skillet. I go to another place in my head where my legs aren't paining, and my ass cheeks aren't aching and the stitch in my side has effed off. I have crossed the 13 mile mark and I have only .10 of a mile to go. I ramp the speed up and I am feeling like someone just told me I won the lottery. I cross that 13.1 mile finish line on that damn treadmill and then pull the plug.
I stand there in the silence of the gym, with Maroon 5 playing in my ears and I just cry. I never intended to get emotional, but I did. It was tough. It was honestly the worst run since I started running. But I will never give up. Even if I have to walk.
I know every run is not perfect. There are times they are really just NOT GOOD! That is part of the process of being a runner.
I gathered myself together, after the Ugly Cry and packed my gym bag for home. I did it. I made it through. The race is next Sunday, and all I can say is I am so glad to have this bad run out of my system. Now the wonderful race experience awaits!!
Pocohantas was a tough chick. She ran barefoot in the forest with her Gazelle-y legged friends and she rocked it out! I may not run as fast as her, but I can guarantee I am going to have her killer spirit and Take-No-Crap attitude. I will run with everything I have and maybe paint some new Colors of My Own on that Orlando landscape!
You go Pokahontas!!!
ReplyDeleteI love that you allowed yourself the comfort to be emotional yet not let it hold you back from finishing your workout. i can only imagine how you must have been feeling- but yes, don't ever beat yourself up for it. for every bad experience we can only await the good experiences that are bound to take their place. keep pushing onwards! <3 <3
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